Baby on the Way?

Breastfeeding Surprises
by Kristin Patterson-Maas

For all of you women out there who are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, considering getting pregnant, or thinking that in the far, far future, you might one day want to be pregnant, the issue of breast feeding will come up. It's everywhere today. Should you, shouldn't you? Where, when, and how much? Breast feeding may well be the last great mystery of your life. No matter how much you prepare, there's no way to actually know what it will be like until you do it. If you're like me, you may have read two or three (or a dozen) books on the subject to give you some idea of what to expect, but here's a list of things that you may NOT expect from breast feeding!

1. It might not hurt. All the books and well-meaning friends prepare you for sore, cracked, bleeding nipples. You may already be imagining the martyrdom with which you will continue to nurse your infant child through indescribable pain. You may already be formulating your reasons for discontinuing nursing (I had my whole excuse all laid out months before my son was born, and the chief reason why I had to stop was the pain.) However, I don't read much about the other side of the story, which happened to me. I had no pain, discomfort, or even irritation at all. If my child hadn't been growing like a weed, I would have been tempted to wonder if I really WAS breast feeding! That threw my plans for ending breast feeding out the window and I actually nursed him until he was twelve months old and weaned himself.

2. It might not be a lot of work. Another thing about books and friends is that they give the impression that breast feeding requires a lot of effort and energy. Now don't get me wrong, when there was a load of laundry to be done or dishes to be washed, I was completely "wiped out" by breast feeding! But in reality, the most effort I expended was in trying to unhook my nursing bra. If you are bottle feeding, you have to actually GET UP every time the baby is hungry. Can you imagine??? You're engrossed in Little House on the Prairie (it's the one where Laura thinks she has rabies) and the baby starts to fuss. Now we nursers pick up the child, flip down the bra, and...well, that's it. A bottle-feeder would have to get up, go into the kitchen, round up a bottle, nipple, and formula, assemble it all, warm it up, and then come back to a now-crying baby. Meanwhile, they've missed the part where it's a DIFFERENT raccoon that bit Jack and so they don't know that Laura doesn't really have rabies. What a pain.

3. You might not be overwhelmed with "womanly" feelings. A lot of what you read will deal with the emotional aspects of breast feeding and will describe how you will be bathed in ethereal light at every nursing session. Some of us just aren't the "ethereal light" type and for us, breast feeding is more or less, just another feeding option. I truly believe that I would have bonded with my baby equally well had I bottle fed. You may also wonder what's wrong with you if you're not weeping with joy over this miraculous event. Nothing's wrong with you, you're not an unfeeling tyrant. Chances are, when you finally stop breast feeding, you will look back at it with a sentimental smile.

4. You may not want to stop breast feeding. Like me, you may have set a goal for yourself, such as six months. "If I can just keep it up for six months, I'll be satisfied that I did my part." At about two months, you may even be counting the days, wondering if you can last that long. But as six months approaches, be prepared for feelings you didn't expect, especially if your child has never had formula. At six months, I decided to continue just until 9 months, which is when a close friend of mine weaned her daughter. Then, as nine months approached, I wondered how on earth I was going to go about starting the weaning process. My son didn't use a bottle, just a sippy cup and the breast. However, he wasn't that adept at the sippy cup yet, and I knew he wouldn't be able to get a full day's nutrition from it. Since he was already nine months old, I didn't want to bring in the bottle and start a habit I'd have to break in three months anyway. In the end, I decided "to heck with it!" and just kept it up until he decided he'd had enough.

5. You may not be self-concious about it. You're going to read and hear stories everywhere about how nerve-wracking and traumatizing breast feeding in public is. When I was pregnant, I KNEW that there was no way in the WORLD I would ever breast feed in public! How embarrassing! But, when my son was about two weeks old, my husband and I were eating at the mall when the baby started to cry. I had fed him right before we left, so I thought I'd be safe, but no such luck. Well, what are you going to do? I wasn't about to go sit in the bathroom for half an hour, the car was too far away, and our food hadn't arrived yet. So, I pulled out a receiving blanket and "plugged him in." Guess what? It was no big deal! After that, I did it EVERYWHERE! I never had one negative reaction or comment. In fact, I was like a "grandma magnet"! Older women would constantly come up to me to commend me on what a great thing I was doing and to tell me the history of their lives.

This list is short, but I could go on forever! I hope that it has helped someone out there who has mixed feelings about breast feeding see that it may very well be the choice for you! Anyway, it can't hurt to try!

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