A Mom's Love

The Busy Woman's Defense
by Pamela Sween, Private Investigator

Don't be an easy target. Be aware as to what is going on and your body language. Do you look alert? Consider your clothing and imagine fighting for your life in some of your outfits. High heels and constricting skirts put you at a precarious disadvantage. If the predator had to walk mile in our shoes they would never walk again. Consider changing clothes/and or shoes if you will be leaving alone and faced with potential danger.

Be aware of where you are and what is going on around you. I know you might have a brand new car and want to park in the back of the lot to avoid dings to your paint, but DON'T. Park as close and safely as possible. Have your keys in your hand. If you carry some type of pepper spray – good for you. However, watch which way the wind is blowing before you spray it or you will be the one coughing and gagging. Glance from side to side occasionally, pay attention to sounds around you, and leave immediately as soon as you are in your car.

I repeat - get out there immediately. Many women have a tendency to get into their car at a parking lot and rearrange their purse, use their cell phone, put on makeup, or check their daytimer. A predator may be watching you. MAKE SURE YOU LOCK ALL THE DOORS AND LEAVE as soon as you are in the car. Play hard to get.

Parking garages are potentially more dangerous than most outdoor lots. Look all around you, look into the car, and check under the car. If there is a van parked next to your driver door, get in on the other side. This is an old trick used by many predators. The view is blocked and it is easier to abduct someone than you may think.

Be a DITZ and set off the car alarm if you feel the least bit threatened. If your car does not have an alarm, there are battery-operated personal alarms on the market that you can carry that make a really loud noise. I have one that is louder than my home alarm. There is one with an attachment for hotel/motel room doors. Will work on windows too. When the connection is broken the alarm sounds. Better to look like an idiot than be dead.

Always take an elevator instead of stairs. When taking the elevator and stand in the front preparing to get off. Do not get trapped in the back corners. If someone is already in there that looks weird to you, don't get on. Wait for the next one. There are alarms in most elevators. Get used to looking for them and for the door OPEN buttons.

If the predator goes for a gun – RUN. Believe or not, statistically it is very hard to hit a running target, and if you are hit, it is unlikely that it will be in a vital organ that will kill you. Getting away is always your best bet. The shooting will also draw attention to him.

Tips to Save Your Life When it Gets Violent:

IMMEDIATELY REACT! If someone abducts you from a parking lot or garage they must get you to an abandoned area. DON'T LET THEM GO THERE.

If you are driving – CRASH THE CAR at a low speed such as 5-10 miles per hour.

If he is driving, try to find a good time to stick your fingers in his eye, or grab the wheel and crash the car at a low speed. Slam the gear into park. The best way would be to jump but that is very seldom possible. DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET AWAY; there is no etiquette here. No right or wrong way – only your imagination.

NOTE: If you are going to do something very physical, such as poke them in the eye, kick them in the knees or groin, make sure you can really pull it off with enough force. You may anger him to extreme violence. Practice the moves – they are a good exercise.

GET A CELL PHONE. If you break down on a deserted road, hopefully you have good sturdy shoes and/or warm clothing with you so you can go and hide in the bushes. Turn on the emergency blinkers but do not stay in the car.

Predators look for cars that are broken down. Call 911 – they will send someone to help you. If you do not have a phone, try to walk off the road so you are not noticed until you get somewhere to get help. Some roads do not have much cover. Years ago I had to walk down a road and hit the ditch whenever I saw headlights. Unfortunately, it was wet from the rain and filled with leaves. You are better off to hide on most deserted roads. They will see your car, but not you, and go on.

Keep your cell phone charged. Also, make sure it is where you can reach it fast; not at the bottom of your purse. I believe there is a very strong case for cell phones but if not…

Carry your cordless phone from home or buy one at a garage sale for cheap if you cannot afford a cell phone. It may appear to be a cell phone to the predator. Use a non-connected cell phone. Or, use a walkie-talkie whether it works or not. The idea is to make it look like you are contacting someone and that help could be on the way. It is better than nothing. Plan your escape before you ever need to.

Carry a flashlight with a very high and bright beam. Shine it in their eyes. If a flashlight with a very strong high beam is used, the predator's pupils' become very small. When they become very small – suddenly shut the light off. They will be temporarily blinded. This may give you time to enact another plan, such as getting away or further disabling him. Remember the secret to this trick is that it has to be a very high beam.

Yell "FIRE" if you are walking alone in the dark and someone is chasing you, because it will work better than "help." Find a car or something else you can run around. Get under a car if you have to – you may want to practice this one.

Working late at the office? Many office buildings do not have security guards and if they do they may not be there when you need them. You are relatively safe locked inside your office but should you have to go to the public restroom you may face yet another dangerous situation. Public restrooms that are not locked after working hours can be great places for predators to hide or enter after you do. If there is no lock, carry a device that will alert you if someone walks in. The small alarm I mentioned before with an attachment could work here. It can be placed so that when the door opens the alarm goes off. There are quite a few personal alarms on the market, pick one that suits you the best.

Happy Hour? Have someone walk you to your car and do the same for your friends. And, it goes without saying, don't let them drive if they have had too much to drink.

Choose your weapon. Some of you may feel very uncomfortable with a gun or have personal, political, or religious convictions concerning firearms. I carry a gun in the car and personally carry a knife. I actually feel more comfortable in a parking lot situation with a knife. This is a personal choice. The best defense if all else fails, is the weapon they do not know you have. If you take it out be prepared to use it.

Whatever means you use to protect and defend yourself make sure you are comfortable and know how to use it. Fear is a great motivator to become a quick study but practice makes perfect. The best defense, of course, is avoidance of these situations entirely.

The best weapon of all is our mind. Practice and visualize what you will do. I did not wish to scare you with statistics. Besides, numbers and statistics don't mean much when it is you or your family. Please share these simple tactics with others. If you have some of your own, please share them. Good Luck and be safe.

About the Author: Sween Investigations: Private Investigator Investigative research; analyze information utilizing public records, restricted databases, investigative tools, contacts and previous legal experience. Areas of specialization include, but are not limited to: skip tracing, locating people, assets, background checks, interviewing and researching real property ownership.