Feature Article

Single Motherhood
by Kathleen Driggers

I'm a single mother. When I say that I say it with Pride, Humility, Strength, Fear, Gratefulness and Honor. Kind of an odd mixture of feelings, wouldn't you say?

I have recently had a chance to gather with other single moms and while I sit back quietly to watch and listen, I'm amazed at what I hear. Many single moms seem to focus a major of their energy complaining about the "ex" or the missing parent, or how unfair life is, etc. While I can certainly understand these feelings associated with being a single parent, I have come to the conclusion that there comes a time when you have to decide one of two things.

You can sit around and be angry at your child's father for not being here, for doing this or that, or not doing anything at all. You can be sad, depressed, feel worthless and victimized or... You can count the blessings and be grateful you have been given the most precious gift in the world: your children. I choose the latter. Okay so I'm human and there are times when I feel a twinge of jealousy when I see a happy looking family or a father and son playing ball, etc. But, before I start drowning in my little world of sorrows, I remind myself that I wake up each morning to the sweetest little voices saying "Mommy wake up I'm hungry." I get to tuck them into bed each night, I'm the one they come crawling into bed with when they are afraid, I'm there to soothe them when they have a nightmare, I lay in my room and listen to them giggle when they should be sleeping ... I am participating in their lives on a daily basis! Oh the gifts I'm given of seeing them crawl, walk, and talk. Oh....the first time I heard them say "Mommy" or "I love you", how sweet the sound. I have the honor and omnipotent "mommy power" to kiss away their boo boos and their fears. I watch them as they laugh and play, and as they go to school and make friends. I get to help them with their homework. Heck, I'm the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy!!!!!! I am MOMMY!!!!!

So, I say to myself, Wow, how much luckier can a gal get? I have two beautiful little boys that I love with every fiber of my being and they love me back with the most innocent and unconditional love imaginable. I'm everything and everyone to them, I'm all they have. Now THAT is a responsibility I do not take lightly. And it is one I accept with the great humility.

So rather than complain about how hard it is or how unfair it is that you are raising your children alone or that the father does this or does that, be grateful for what you do have and remember.... The next time someone asks you what you do...tell them proudly, I'm a single mom.

About the author: Kathleen Driggers (email - kat@herwebhost.com) is a single, work at home mom of two special needs children, ages 8 and 4. She lives in Washington State and is the owner of HerWebHost.com and THENetworkForWomen.com