Mom's New Year's Resolutions Two Months Later
by © Cheryl Moeller

January 1st: “My children and I will learn Modern Hebrew this year.”
March 1st: “My children and I will weekly eat one dozen bagels with lox.”

January 1st: “I will get the kids the pet they’ve always wanted.”
March 1st: “I will buy a collar and a leash for my chia plant.”

January 1st: “I will make only home-made yogurt from only organic ingredients.”
March 1st: “I will allow my children only two Gogurts in their mouth at a time.”

January 1st: "I will take my children to a museum once a month."
March 1st: "I will show my kids where I ate super chili dogs in high school.”

January 1st: "I will make sure my children eat multi-grain fiber filled items at each meal."
March 1st: "I will store my bag of Krispy Kreme doughnuts next to a bottle of Metamucil.”

January 1st: "I will feature a Van Gogh each month on our coffee table."
March 1st: "I will fill up our Van at The Stop and Go.”

January 1st: "We will never eat food in the car in 2008."
February 1st: "We will quit using our gas grill in the car in 2008."

About the Author: Cheryl Moeller is an outrageous Mom who wants to help save your sanity as a young mother (she's still looking for hers). She's been married to Bob for 28 years (he too believes a mind is a terrible thing to lose). Their six children reluctantly admit Bob and Cheryl are their parents and range in age from 8 to 25 years. They use psuedonames for obvious reasons: Duke, Missy, Pooka, Skippy, Megs and Kenzie. Cheryl has co-authored two books (which some call genius, others mere words on a page). Marriage Minutes, Moody Press, 2000, and For Better, For Worse, For Keeps, Marriagevine Press, 2006. Read more of Cheryl’s comedy at www.momlaughs.blogspot.com Or you can contact her at momlaughs@gmail to speak at your next event with clean comedy.

 

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