A Mom's Love

Teen Tips

Teens and the Telephone
by Mary Anderson

If you have one or more teenagers at home then chances are the use of the telephone has been an issue for you, the parent.

When I married my husband almost four years ago we had three teenagers here in our home. All three loved using the phone. So the minute they would come home from school to the time it was time to go to bed one of them was either calling a friend or getting calls from friends. We had call waiting so that was a huge help to me. After the first few months of my being the "new" person in the home had worn off I was now considered the enemy of the teens who belong to the "I can tie up the phone line as long as I want". A group that I did not belong to, and quite frankly did not want to belong to. I had been there once myself and did not wish to go back there. As an adult, and a stepparent I felt I too had some rights regarding the telephone as all parents do. So action was necessary.

At that time, my husband and I discussed the issue and we felt that a limit of 20 minutes at a time per teen would be appropriate. It would have been terrific if they had not out smarted us. They each took their turns and were very good about the 20 minute limit but then each of them would start all over again. There were curfew limits on the phone too. The reality was that my husband and I lost that battle for a while. The two oldest would stay on the phone until 11PM and even as late as midnight. They were spoken to many times but because my husband and I were newly married the phone issue just was not the most important thing to us. However, after six months had passed I realized that things had to change.

Here are some tips on what we did:

Put a limit on each teen or pre-teens allotted time to use the phone.
Explain the importance of using the call waiting system if you have one.
A definite curfew for when no more out going or in coming calls is allowed.
Do not allow a teenager to have a phone in their bedroom.
Teach them to respect the fact that there other people living in the home with them.
The most important thing of all is to be consistent with your rules.

Now we have one teenage girl left at home she and I have been able to work out a phone schedule that works for the both of us. It was through trial and error but we did it. We still have call waiting and have added Voice mail to our phone system, which has also been a big help. My husband and I were very fortunate to have access to cable modem for our Internet use. This was also very helpful.

If you have Internet access via the telephone then this brings up yet another problem with your teenagers using the telephone. The only suggestion I have for this is to either get another line which can be dedicated to your computer only or to sit down and think about what you would like your rules regarding the telephone to be.

Having been through this experience and two more years of it to go. I have found that setting down the rules for the telephone and being consistent with the consequences of breaking the rules regarding this utility has worked for me. Granted there have been some battles in the past and it was not always easy. But being the parent in the home who had to enforce the rules I can tell you that taking away the privilege of using the phone for not obeying the rules in the first place that this can be a very effective tool.

About the Author: Mary Anderson sonshyne@mediaone or sonshyne@netzero.net Mary is a wife and partner to a very dear man who has been very supportive. A mother of two grown and very successful children. She is also a step- parent to 3 teenagers and a proud grandmother to 2 very beautiful granddaughters. She lives in the very lovely state of NH and feels blessed to be there.

For more Teentips Click Here.

Create Your Child's Very Own Online Baby Album!
Free ....Safe and Secure websites for children,
babies and newborns.

Diet.com Advantage: Lose 10 Lbs with Dr. Kushner's Personality Diet every 5 weeks!

Furniture For Sale.com

If you would like expert assistance and a true competitive advantage in the college admissions process, we strongly recommend AdmissionsConsultants.

Work at Home Kit!