Teen Tips
Tips on Teens
by Mary Anderson
I remember when my children were only toddlers and how there were many days in which I wanted to tear my hair out from the roots of my head. Lets face it toddlers do keep us active, anxious and alert. My mother would say to me, " If you think taking care of babies is a hard job just wait until they are teenagers" I remember thinking to myself that there was no way it could get any harder. No way! A teenager can pick up after himself or herself. They can understand what is being said to them. Teenagers will go to bed when you want them to and they understand when you are having a bad day and might like to have some alone time. Well that was just part of my way of thinking when I was raising two toddlers. I honestly believed that once my children were teenagers I would have a much easier job of being a mom. Any parent who has survived the teen years and has managed to keep their sense of humor, sanity and objectivity. Then congratulations, you have made it through what are probably the toughest years of your Childs life. If you have teenagers as I did and do once again than perhaps I can share some of my tips with you. First of all I had to sit down and think about all of the things in life that are important to me and what I wanted my teens to learn from me. I sat down and typed up my list of what I expected from each teen and what the consequences would be if not met by them. I sat them down and read my list to them and then we discussed every thing that was on my list. They each had a copy so that they could see touch and truly understand what I had written. Once we discussed every thing I had them sign it to make sure that they understood completely. So I would not hear later "But you never said that" or "I didn't hear you say that" or the famous one "I forgot". Trust me when I tell you I heard each of these sentences many times. All I had to do is turn around and ask was: "Where is your list?" My list has saved me many disagreements with my teens once they saw how very serious I was about it. So to save you some time, energy and sanity make sure that whatever you have written on your list is something that you will be able to stick to. Teenagers need consistency in their lives as any child does. Let them know that you are willing to listen to them and to discuss things but that ultimately you, the parent will make the finale decisions. Here are the things that were important to me and were all on my list. Each teen followed the rules or they were grounded. Groundings I found were the most effective way of discipline. I do not believe in hitting children. Never have and never will. Curfew Chores around the house Homework being done before going out. No eating in the bedrooms or the living room. Washer and dryer were shut off by 9 PM every night. No smoking, no drinking alcohol or taking any drugs. No failing grades. No friends of the opposite sex allowed in their bedrooms. No friends in the home when both parents are not in there to supervise. A part time job by age 16 was mandatory.
Obviously this is my list and there were more rules listed. I know that not everyone has the same priorities as I do. But knowing my children and now my husband's children, I knew what was needed in our home to help lessen the stress that comes along with raising a teenager with some values and morals. It is very difficult to raise children but I think it is even more difficult if a teenager is left to flounder about not really knowing what is expected of them.
The best tip I left for last. Teenagers need lots of love and hugs. They need to know that we love them even when they make a mistake and that it is okay to make mistakes. I felt that raising my children with rules, morals, ethics, kindness and love was the very best that I could do for them. This worked for me. These are my opinions and some tips on what I did when my children became teenagers. Now if I can make it through my husband's last teenager I know that I can make it through any thing.
About the Author: Mary Anderson sonshyne@mediaone or sonshyne@netzero.net
Mary is a wife and partner to a very dear man who has been very supportive. A mother of two
grown and very successful children. She is also a step- parent to 3 teenagers and a proud
grandmother to 2 very beautiful granddaughters. She lives in the very lovely state of NH and
feels blessed to be there.
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