Barbara Tripp
barbarann@cfl.rr.com

Frustrated, my ten year old daughter, Rebekah, announced, “This time
I’m going to put a dime in the grumble box instead of a penny.”
For several days, her contributions to the grumble box had been more
than anyone else’s in the family.

“Maybe this will last me the rest of the week,” she said.
I was looking for ways to teach my children not to be whiners and
complainers when I came across the grumble box idea from a book
called “Little visits with God” by Allen Hart Jahsmann and Martin P.
Simon.

I also wanted to see a permanent change in their behavior. If my
children weren’t enjoying their lives now, I worried, what was going
to happen when they hit the teenage years? Would they become
apathetic or depressed? Would they be able to handle the temptations
of drugs and alcohol? I believed if their attitude changed now, we
could avoid these problems later on.

Consequently, I bought a piggy bank, labeled it “Grumble Box” and
set it in a prominent area of the house. Whenever anyone
complained, they had to put a penny in the Box. To avoid any
resentment, my husband and I joined in the fun.

Right away, the grumble box began to work like an enormous spotlight.
The weather was too hot or too cold, too dry or too wet. We didn’t
like school work, yard work, or housecleaning. We didn’t have enough
but we had too much clutter.

Apparently we were focusing on unhappiness instead of being content.
Was it any wonder that when stress and a busy lifestyle were added to
this mix my husband, Bill and I, didn’t feel the joy we use to feel?
Or that the big grins that use to be so spontaneous and plentiful on
our children’s faces had dwindled?

By the end of the first week, the changes the grumble box made in our
behavior were astonishing. We became aware of our attitude, our
speech, and how we treated one another. By the end of six months we
had completely changed the atmosphere in our house. We stopped
complaining about trivialities. We thought about what we were going
to say before we said it. We were more considerate of each other in
every respect. We appreciated simple things like sunrises, sunsets
and starry nights. We enjoyed keeping company with each other. We
lightened up and found we could laugh at the things we once
complained about.

I realized the grumble box had done its job, far surpassing my
expectations. I put the grumble box away and never used it again.

The grumble box earned an incredible $20.00. That’s 2000 complaints
that my family of four made during a six month time period. Most of
the complaints occurred during the first three months. Grace, my
youngest daughter, learned the fastest. She saw her older sister
paying in most of her allowance, sometimes having to borrow from her
allowance for the following week. Grace decided early on to use her
money to buy toys for her hamster rather than pay the grumble box.

What surprised me most was how much I complained. The grumble box
helped me realize my daughters complained, in part, because they
learned it from me.

At first we planned to take the money from the grumble box and go out
to eat. But when we heard that a local charity, which cared for
disabled children, needed money, we decided to give the money to
them. This had an unforeseen outcome. We were so moved by the
children we met, that we started volunteering an afternoon a week.

It’s been 15 years since we used the grumble box but the changes it
made in our lives were permanent. Our daughters are now in their
20′s and thankfully their teen age years were free from drugs,
alcohol or depression. Rebekah has been cited by her bosses as being
an inspiration to others for her upbeat, get-the-job-done attitude.
Grace has a special knack for making people feel comfortable and at
ease, both at home and at work.

If you see a need in your family for a grumble box here are a few tips:
1. Don’t charge for legitimate complaints such as someone getting hurt.
2. Parents should participate in the project with their children.
3. Sit down with your family before you set it up to explain what you are
doing and why.
4. Set the grumble box out in the open where it is easily accessed.
5. Set the amount that the complaint costs so the child will notice they
are losing money. We only gave our daughters a quarter per week allowance
so a penny a complaint was felt.
6. Be consistent. There are times when it isn’t convenient but do it
anyway. If you’re away from the house, take note and pay the box when you
return home.

Bio:
Barbara Tripp became inspired to write for children after the birth
of her first grandchild.
Before she entered the world of writing, she was a pre-K thru 12th
grade homeschool teacher, editor of a Christian Education Newsletter
and attended a Christian Education seminar.

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